Pornography promises you a temporary escape, but ultimately makes your circumstances worse. While it is readily accessible, it is also incredibly costly to your marriage and walk with Jesus. Its temporary pleasures and the allure of anonymity may seem like “benefits”, but pornography takes far more from you than it can ever give.
Pornography demolishes intimacy and wounds the marital relationship. If you are addicted to pornography and want a flourishing marriage, something is going to need to change. Thankfully, there is hope.
Confession, accountability, and community are all incredible gifts that help in the fight against pornography. More than anything, the battle with pornography will be won as you grow in your relationship with the Lord. If you are not surrendering your life (and your addiction to pornography) to Jesus, that needs to be the first step.
Healing from pornography and finding freedom is not going to be easy. It likely won’t happen overnight. But it will be worth it.
So, what exactly does this process look like?
Removing Access – Consistently confessing your sin without any actual repentance is futile. You need to completely cut off access and turn toward righteousness. Make a list all the ways in which you’ve gained access to pornography. Work to remove all these avenues. You should be willing to do anything to get well (Matthew 5:27-29). Here are some examples:
This process may seem simple, but if attempted genuinely and faithfully, there will be healing and growth. God is able to take all of your mess and redeem it. Even if pornography has severely hurt your marriage, it is never too late. Confess your sin and turn to Jesus. Ask people you trust to come along side you.
Remember that loving your spouse well is going to require sacrifice and service. When you fail, ask for forgiveness and pray for help. Your marriage will be healthier as a result.
In the next article, we discuss what to do if your spouse is looking at pornography.