Brandon and Brittani Travelstead

Sep 7, 2019

A Picture of Brandon and Brittani

He Rescued Me

“Finally, after being up for five days using speed, I hit the breaking point. I knew I’d die if I continued down that path. It was the furthest I’d ever been from God, but He rescued me in that moment." — Brandon Travelstead

“I grew up in Denton with two loving parents who taught me right from wrong,” said Brandon Travelstead. “Although other family members were involved in a local church, I didn’t have much spiritual knowledge. I had always heard that a church was there to take your money, so I had no interest.

“Fast forward to high school when we moved from our house in the country to Flower Mound. I started hanging out with older kids and drinking alcohol to fit in. Just before graduation, I filled out a last-minute application and headed to Sam Houston State in Huntsville. With no spiritual foundation, I started using heavy drugs and my life went off the deep end.

“Eventually I was arrested and charged with three felony counts of drug possession. I wish I could tell you I had a wake-up call when I was acquitted, and my record was wiped clean. But, I didn’t learn a thing and our family swept the whole incident under the rug.

“I moved home and started working at a restaurant in Dallas, where my drug use got worse. I was using drugs to escape the shame of who I’d become, and that led me to a very scary state. Finally, after being up for five days using speed, I hit the breaking point. I knew I’d die if I continued down that path. It was the furthest I’d ever been from God, but He rescued me in that moment (Psalm 30). It was a slow process, but life became noticeably different.

“I moved to California the next year to chase the dream of acting. A few years later, I met Brittani. We went out on a first date and have been together ever since. We started attending a church in L.A., but we were certainly not living in a way that honored Christ.

“Eventually we moved to Dallas and started working at a restaurant not far from Watermark. One night, this couple came into the restaurant, asked me if we had a church home, and invited us to visit Watermark. We started attending on Sundays, and slowly made Watermark a part of our lives. We even went through Merge, Watermark’s pre-marriage ministry, together.

“During Merge, we uncovered plenty of red flags in our relationship. But, I wanted things my way, so we didn’t stop living together. God was at work, and I continued to give Him the stop sign. It’s no surprise that our first years of marriage were difficult. We fought constantly, and for a while, it was like living with a roommate. At the time, my business was booming and so was my ego. We went on trips and bought things to fill the emptiness in our marriage. I did not want to address the hurt I was causing because I did not want to look at my sin.

“When we joined a Watermark Foundation Group, community groups for couples married for three years or less, things at home started to change. We built relationships with some solid believers and saw how they treated each other. For the first time, I had accountability and connection with other Christ followers. I’m humbled by all the Lord taught me during our three years in that group. “Another turning point in our marriage and my relationship with Christ was a Watermark Marriage Conference in 2013. A speaker talked about the destructive effects of pornography, and I was so convicted that I decided to tell Brittani that I’d been consuming pornography for years. She was aware that I had looked at it in the past, but she wasn’t aware of how regularly. As painful as that moment was, it was also the beginning of healing.

“In 2014, I went through re:generation, Watermark’s biblical recovery ministry, and took an inventory of my sins and struggles. I’d never talked to anyone about this stuff. I’d always convinced my wife I had everything under control, then would return to my sin. I was missing the mark in being a godly man and husband. I also got connected with MenD, a ministry at Watermark for men who have been sexually abused. I finally acknowledged to another person that I had been sexually abused when I was younger. The Lord connected me with men who helped me work intensely on a really difficult part of my story, and it changed my life.

“The Lord has taken us a long way since then. Brittani and I have since served as leaders in Merge, and are able to tell other engaged and seriously dating couples the real consequences of going your own way rather than following Christ. I also tell them about how God used His power to help me with my porn addiction. I have found freedom, and in Christ, you can, too. On my own, I could never have conquered that addiction or built a Christ-centered marriage. Only in Christ can things like that happen, one day at a time.

“Really believing in what Christ did for me on the cross allowed me to forgive others and accept forgiveness from the Lord, my friends, and family. God’s grace allows me to take the focus off my guilt and shame and focus on Christ (Romans 8:1). That is where I have found freedom.”

God Can Fix Your Marriage

“Only the Lord could have turned our mess into our message. I want other couples to know that God can fix your marriage and your life, too. No sin is too large; no past is too damaged." — Brittani Travelstead

“For so long, it was like living on a hamster wheel of fear and anxiety,” said Brittani Travelstead. “I never saw an end to it; the struggle was so debilitating. I had no idea how to find freedom.

“My parents divorced when I was two. My mother remarried, and my stepfather assumed the role of dad. We weren’t churchgoers, although I did learn about Jesus from visiting church with my grandmother. I trusted Christ when I was 12, and my grandmother gave me my first Bible. But I didn’t have anyone around who pursued Christ, so I didn’t get any discipleship.

“My mom and stepfather divorced when I was in high school, and life became chaotic and unstable. We had parties and alcohol at the house on a regular basis. At 17, a critical time in my life, I was given money to move out with zero emotional support. That’s when I experienced the first signs of severe anxiety. Feeling alone and unworthy, I wondered, if my own mother did not want me around, who would?

“As a young adult, I found my identity in relationships, drugs, drinking, and partying. Lonely and isolated, I bounced from Canada to California, and from one terrible relationship to another. In Santa Monica, I worked at a local restaurant, and that’s when I met Brandon, who is now my husband. Our relationship was built on partying and pleasure from the beginning. We occasionally attended a church in Los Angeles but consistently showed up hungover from the previous night.

“In 2008, Brandon and I decided to move to his hometown, Dallas. We also started attending Watermark, continuing our pattern of showing up hungover for many of our first visits. Despite how I was living, God slowly peeled back the layers of my life and drew me to Himself.

“We later went through Watermark’s Premarital Ministry (Merge), and the red flags in our relationship were obvious. We received great, biblical advice about our relationship and sin patterns, but we did not want to change. Our relationship was not built on the solid foundation of Christ, so there was no honeymoon period after we married.

“I filled the emptiness in our marriage through buying things. I think there was a package on the front door every single day. Brandon was very passive, and sometimes I wished he would say something, so I knew he cared, but he was struggling with his own issues.

"The Lord began changing our marriage when we joined a Watermark Foundation Group, community groups for couples married three years or less. For the first time, I was accountable to other believers. I needed their support because I felt very unloved and isolated, and I was not sure how Brandon and I were going to move forward. Then, with the support of other believers, Brandon confessed that he had been using pornography regularly. I carried a lot of baggage from the fractures in my family, so I was incredibly hurt. I had no idea how consistent his involvement had become. "When we went through Watermark's re|engage ministry in 2015, it would have been easy for me to focus only on Brandon's struggles. But there were issues that I needed to own as well. I struggled with fear, control, anxiety, and pride. When I felt insecure or Brandon didn't take the lead, I stepped in.

“The Lord ended up using the re|engage curriculum to change our marriage. It was incredible to watch other couples in the group who had been restored by the Lord. It was obvious to me that the only way to have a healthy marriage is through Jesus. re|engage was a springboard in my spiritual walk with Christ, leading me to abide daily, read God’s Word, and grow.

“It’s amazing today to have authentic believers around us who are committed to Christ. In good seasons and bad, we have support from our community group. Today, I know how to cling to Christ in times of desperation when I feel lost. God has consistently shown me grace with my fear, control, shopping, and materialism. So, in Him, I can show Brandon forgiveness and empathy. We never could have rebuilt our relationship without Christ.

“When Brandon and I were asked to serve seriously dating/ engaged couples as leaders in Merge, I did not feel equipped. I was so nervous and prepared for it like I was studying for the SAT. But once we met with the couples in our group, it was amazing to see how similar we were. I think we got more out of leading in Merge than they did. God showed us that He was using our past hurts and story of redemption for His Glory (Isaiah 48:9-11).

“What the Lord continues to do in our marriage is a testament to His goodness. God has changed Brandon from someone who was full of guilt and shame to a man who lives out Romans 8:1 daily and confesses his struggles for God’s glory. God is miraculously rebuilding our marriage on a foundation anchored in Him. Only the Lord could have turned our mess into our message. I want other couples to know that God can fix your marriage and your life, too. No sin is too large; no past is too damaged. Put your faith in Him, and it will go well with you.”

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